My Baby Boy

It is no secret that I had been anxious, very anxious to have this baby. I was uncomfortable and eager and ready.

Sunday was no different- I was waiting and expectant. I stayed home from church with Amelija- sitting was just too hard. I noticed my stomach was irritable- and wondered- since this is sometimes a sign of early labor. Later in the afternoon I noticed some other tell tale signs that could mean that labor will begin soon.

It was a beautiful day. We grilled shish kebabs and marshmallows and all just enjoyed sitting around and watching the meat cook. Funny, but rewarding when something smells and promises to taste so good. On occasion I had a contraction- but rarely.We had a lovely family evening- I wondered - if this was our last supper as 4.

About midnight when we were heading to bead I started having a few more contractions. When they started being about 10-15 minutes apart I knew I was not going to be able to sleep. So I let Janis sleep and went downstairs. I packed our bag of food to take along. I paced, I laid down, I got up, I was in constant motion it seemed. When I got too tired I would lay down, but I cannot endure contractions laying down and there seemed to only ever be enough time to just fall asleep and then I would be awakened by yet another contraction.

About 2:00 a.m I sent my midwife a sms. She called me and said if the contractions were so seldom to wait until morning- better to rest at home.

From 3:00-4:00 a.m I was baking cookies. I had read that was a good thing to do while in labor and that when you started burning them then you would know it was time to go to the hospital (because you couldn't focus on removing them from the oven in time). During this hour my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart and I was doing squats and talking to myself and baby- reminding us to open together.

I had determined to awaken Janis at 4:00 a.m. because I wanted some encouragement and advice. But I was so tired I laid down. I fell asleep and had fewer contractions- but was up again by 4:30.

At about 5:00 I woke Janis up and told him I couldn't sleep and had been awake all night and I needed some encouragement- I needed to see the midwife and have her check my progress and I wanted to go before the kids woke up.

He got up and ready, phoned the baby sitter and arranged to get her at 6:00 a.m. He ate breakfast and I lived through contractions- wanting to vomit at the smells of his breakfast. We left our house about 6:30 a.m or a bit before. Janis got gas. I was sort of reclining in the car in the front seat.

We were thoroughly amused when the seemingly only in films scene happened to us. There was a police man who had stopped cars coming from both directions and wanted us to stop too. He probably just wanted to check our documents- but when he came to the window Janis said. "My wife is in labor, can't you let us pass?" He looked at me and was like, "Really, yeah!" We laughed so hard after that! 

In the one hour drive to the birthing house I had only about 5 contractions- of course in a bumpy  car they were not pleasant to endure. But I was a bit worried that maybe this was in vain and I wouldn't really have my baby that day at all.

We arrived at the birthing house "Harmony" about 7:30 a.m. I was happy we were the only couple there with our midwife. We chose our room (one of the two) and then my midwife checked me. I was already 7-8cm along! We were all pleased and I was surprised.

She started filling the tub and I walked up and down the steps, enduring the contractions in any pose that felt best- squatting, sitting on the ball, etc.

About 8:30 I got in the tub- even though it was only half full- it was filling so very slowly. I liked the feel of the water. I was in the tub for a while- but got out after a bit. The tub was so big it was hard to find a comfortable pose to endure the contractions. She told me the baby was already at the gate- ready to be born and to push him out. She said it could be done in 3, 13 or 33 contractions. In other words- it was up to me.

She kept trying to show me how to push and not to close to the pain. I wasn't ready. I was afraid of what was coming- knowing the end would be even more painful when I had to push him out. I was afraid to listen to her and push him out. I was resisting.

Finally when my throat hurt from screaming or groaning (though Janis said I didn't scream as much this time) And I was in the water again- with a full tub- I concluded I had to do something different. Janis had run out to the car to get me some water to refill my water bottle and I started pushing as I was supposed to do. Everything happened so fast and Janis almost missed the baby being born.

Just born

In 3-5 minutes of pushing our baby was out. The cord was very tight around his neck. But he soon was looking  pink and normal. I was even able to smile for a picture- surprised that he was already out. Surprised that the part I had been dreading for so long ended up being so easy. That wasn't so bad after all! Wow!

So April 16, 2012, at 11:32 a.m Kārlis Benjamins was born. He weighed 4120 grams and was 56 cm. long.

The midwife with our baby boy

I was so very surprised that the expected ring of fire and the pressure never came. I never had the part I was so dreading. Could it have been that if I had listened to the midwife he would have been born 3 hours sooner?

But all in all my jingle worked and came to pass, which was this.

I will only be in labor as long as it takes to pack, drive, fill and get in the tub.

Once the tub was finally full he was born shortly thereafter!

Yay God, this was by far the easiest delivery we have had. And even though it was painful I am so amazed. What was different? Was it the preparation? The birth art? My attitude of believing more? I don't know. . . I only know I am so very happy!

Clay Pregnancy Art

In the book I am reading, "Birthing from Within" there are a lot of assignments on birth art and preparing for birth by exploring ones hidden feelings through art.
I have really enjoyed the assignments in both drawing and creating with clay.

The drawing ideas were those such as:
1. How I see myself as a pregnant woman.
2. How do I envison birth.
3. My fantasy for this birth.

When I got to the clay assignment I was a bit more skeptical because I had never worked with clay. I chose white clay and followed the directions of trying to see what my hands would create and not forcing something.

I like what I came up with and hope that these will remind me to be open during birth.

This woman is big- just like I feel and she is shaped like a bell. The bottom is empty and I would like very much if I could turn this into a bell. But am not experienced enough to know how. I like the idea of being open like a bell and giving off a beautiful sound to the world through my birth. A bell is something that is loud, strong and open. I need to be open and strong during birth so I can let this 3rd baby out without the pain I experience during my first two labors. 

Many women talking of opening like a flower to let their baby out. I like that analogy and wish I could see birth so peacefully and beautifully. I wanted something visual to help me with this and so created this baby being born of a flower.

Have you ever done any pregnancy art? What helped you during birth?

Quotes on Pregnancy

Altogether pregnancy and birth is a richly intuitive and instinctive process, a woman will prepare her "nest" and birth according to the style of her culture, in the same way that a particular species of bird will build its nest with whatever is available.

As I continue to read through "Birthing From Within" by Pam England many things jump out at me. I wanted to include some of my favorite quotes.

If you envision giving birth in only one way and one place, your chance of being thrown off balance by the unexpected increases dramatically. The more ways you envision yourself giving birth, the more power you bring to your own birth. 

When you think about it women give birth every day in unbelievable places and circumstances. Even as you read this, babies are being born . . . 

in hot tubs, and warm ocean pools. . . 

in rice paddies, mountain villages, and igloos. . . 

in beds, birth huts, and birthing chairs. 

Mothers the world over give birth 

counting stars and under bright lights. . . 

in fields, dugouts, and by fireplaces. . . 

in planes and trains. . . 

in one room shacks and operating rooms. 

Mothers and nature always find a way. 

Pg. 82 (Birthing From Within)

On Natural vs. C-Section Births

I am a woman with an opinion. I am influenced a lot of course by personal experience, by the advise of my midwives and by stories heard and books read.

I am always very saddened and heartbroken when I hear of yet another woman who has been made to have a c-section. I know there are times when a c-section IS necessary- when the life of the mother or child is at risk. But most of the time I would say that c-sections are made for the convenience of the doctor and to avoid any risk due to their incompetence. What doctor wants to risk trying something new or long when they can do it the easy way out? C-sections are also chosen by women as the easy way out or are necessary due to the interference of a doctors who having induced labor have to do deal with the stress of a rushed labor- which is not natural and therefore leads to problems and more intervention.

I read today of another woman desirous of a natural birth- but because her baby was in breech the doctors chose for her to have an emergency c-section. She was sad. I was sad for her. My heart screamed out wanting to help these sort of women.

I think I ought to go and study and start my path toward becoming a doctor who will correctly inform women of the risks, the possibilities and the options.

The stories I hear from midwives and even doctors and mothers in Latvia where I now reside convinces me that many doctors in the USA are far behind the times if they think that a woman who has had a c-section must have another. We are not cookie cutter people who must all be cut the same way. Each of us has a choice and if our doctor will not allow us to choose we ought to seek another.

A friend of mine here had her first two babies naturally, the third was an true emergency c-section and then when pregnant with the fourth she wanted a c-section. She was afraid. But her doctor told her, "No, you do not need a c-section.  You can do this." She went on to have an ideal natural birth.

Why don't doctors in other countries, states and facilities allow a mother to choose? Are mothers misinformed? Do they trust their doctors too much? Are mothers to fearful or doctors?

What are your experiences and opinions?

Birth is a process that is between mother and child. A woman knows how to have a baby. A healthy woman will give birth to a baby with no problems and in her way with the assistance of a good doctor or midwife. We do not need intervention when we are healthy and our baby is healthy and when nature is left to have her course both mother and child will come through healthy, whole and content.

Water Births

As I muddle through where I want to have this third baby I keep running into the idea of water birth. My midwife is for water births. She told me a neat story that babies born in water "swim" the length of the tub and their umbilical cord. She said while a baby's skin has not been reached by air it will not breath but will continue to use the oxygen from the cord.

Yesterday the leading midwife in Latvia with water birth experience was on the radio and I just finished listening to the program. It was fascinating and makes me want to try. She said it is easier on the baby to be born in water. My midwife says the same and especially for big babies- she is promising me a big baby this time.

I have been reading about the topic and found this site helpful, here is a section of benefits copied from their page.

What are the potential benefits of water birth?

Benefits for Mother:

• Water is soothing, comforting, relaxing.
• In the later stages of labor, the water seems to increase the woman’s energy.
• The buoyancy lessens her body weight, allows free movement and new positioning.
• Buoyancy promotes more efficient uterine contractions and better blood circulation, resulting in better oxygenation of the uterine muscles, less pain for the mother, and more oxygen for the baby.
• Immersion in water often helps lower high blood pressure caused by anxiety.
• Water seems to alleviate stress-related hormones, allowing the mother’s body to produce endorphins, which are pain-inhibitors.
• Water causes the perineum to become more elastic and relaxed, which reduces the incidence and severity of tearing and the need for an episiotomy and stitches.
• As the laboring women relaxes physically she is able to relax mentally, concentrating her efforts inward on the birth process.
• The water provides a sense of privacy, which releases inhibitions, anxiety, and fears.

Benefits for Baby:

• Provides a similar environment as the amniotic sac.
• Eases the stress of the birth, providing reassurance and security.

 
 
A couple of my friends have also had their babies in water and are all for it. I guess my biggest fears/concerns are:

• Privacy- I think I would feel too exposed in the water. 
• Comfort- With my births at home I have gone in the tub and didn't like it during my contractions. But the tub is small at home and I didn't have freedom of movement. I don't know if water is my friend enough for me to enjoy a water birth.

And yet I still feel tempted to try this. I want something easier this time. What are your personal experiences? Have you had a water birth after a normal birth?

Birthing From Within

"Mothers know something other people don't but sometimes they don't know it."

In the book I am reading, "Birthing From Within" by Pam England and Rob Horowitz-it suggests we listen to other birth stories which can help us learn, encourage us and empower us.

What are your birth stories?

• What helped you most when you gave birth?
• If you could do it over again what would you do the same? 
• Is there anything you would do differently? 
• What do you wish you had known beforehand? 

Send your birth stories to silkscarvesbyeli@gmail.com (if you don't want to write them  here)

Thanks!

Worries about Pregnancy, Birth, Motherhood.

I am working through a book for preparation for birth. True this is not my first birth- but I want something different. I want to work through the pain and try to understand if I can birth without it as others do.

The book challenged me to write for 15 minutues about what I fear. Here are a few of those things:

1. Not knowing where I will have my baby ( With the first two I knew where I wanted to- this time I am unsure)
2. Not knowing which midwife to give birth with. (The one I had the first two with or the one I am seeing now?)
3. Tearing 
4. Being out of control during labor. 
5. Pain during the pushing stage that makes me feel I'm going to die. 
6. Health problems after birth. 
7. My kids (where will they be? How will they handle the new baby?)
8. My baby being too big (The midwife says he will be at least as big as the last. She was almost 10 lbs! )
9. Money (I want to be able to afford the kind of birth I desire). The most expensive senerio is still cheap when compared to other countries.  But not cheap for us. ($1200 max.)
10. Child Support (It looks we may not have the government support this time around since I had to leave my job)

What are your worries in regards to birth? What were they then? Did your worries come to pass? 

Preparing for Birth

Here I am 14 weeks pregnant, yet unsure how and where I want to have my baby. I am not a first time Mom- rather I have already had two home births. These were births assisted by a wonderful midwife, births that took place in our own bedroom.

Never have I wanted the interference of medicine in my life and the more I prepared and read about birth the more sure I was that the best birth for a healthy Mom is one where there is no interference. This means no painkillers, no rushing to be induced. No hurrying of a process that God made me, a woman for. I have read countless books on birth, home birth and preparation for birth and am 100% sure that natural birth is the best option for baby and Mom when both are healthy.

So then, what keeps me from being sure I want to have my next baby at home? I am not exactly sure. But I think it has something to do with my "fear" of pain during labor, especially during the pushing stage. During my second labor I knew what to expect and could handle the contractions just fine by rocking, groaning, swaying, leaning on my husband or the sink, etc. There were even times I needed to move things along because I wanted more steady contractions and then I climbed the stairs. But when the time came to push and my baby was on her way out I felt like I was dying of pain. I screamed, I groaned, I cried "Lord, have mercy." And of course my baby entered this world and all was "forgotten" making it all worthwhile.

But that pain is not forgotten and because of my fear of pain I even asked God for twins so that I can have more children with less pain.

But there is another thing that rankles my spirit and makes me wonder. . . how is it that some women know virtually no pain when giving birth? A dear friend of mine just had her fourth baby at home and when we discuss birth and I ask her if it hurt she always says, "No." How can this be? Does she have a higher pain tolerance? Or has she learned to "let" her body give birth while I fight my body, trying to control even this uncontrollable event.

So as I prepare for birth in the next weeks and months and work through my feelings, experience and desires I will perhaps share a bit with you.