Three Weeks-Something Different

This was a pregnancy I wanted to be different.
I prepared more emotionally than with any other pregnancy.
I did pregnancy art in a variety of ways.
I explored my past stories and envisioned something different this time- something easier, something less painful.

Looking back to our birth 3 weeks ago my emotions are positive, my recollections pleasant. No, it was not easy. BUT it was easier than any other birth I have had so far. No, it was not painless. BUT the most painful part of pushing which with my first two kids was 1 1/2 hours was only 3-5 minutes this time. So I am grateful, happy, pleased and no longer so afraid of birth.

I went away from my second birth thinking c-sections were far more understandable to me and maybe I would want one too.Why suffer? Why go through such incredible pain? Why, why, why?!

So if God sees fit to bless us with another child somewhere done the road in life- I no longer will live in fear of birth. I know things can be different, because they have been so for me.

Biggest Differences this birth:

• Was not at home this time. 
• I labored alone until I was 7-8 cm. dilated (when we arrived at the birthing center)
• Gave birth in water. 
• Pushing was 3-5 minutes, rather than an hour or more. 
• Never experienced the "urge" to push or the bearing down that comes when the baby is ready to be pushed out. Perhaps this was eased by being in the water. 
  

Our little man is an excellent eater and takes  nice long naps several times a day. He eats 2-3 times a night. Wakes up early with the hiccups and other gruntings. He is starting to have his eyes open more.

There is nothing quite so precious and dear as the feel of a baby's downy head. 

Nothing like the feeling of holding a tiny person in your arms and having him cling to your finger. Nothing so special as gazing in awe at the perfection of a tiny human created within ones being. Nothing so dear as the comfort a child finds with its mother.

In his cocoon with his "umbilical cord" hat

The Second Birth

As my third labor approaches I am trying to prepare myself in any and every way possible. I have done a variety of pregnancy art. And been rethinking my former two experiences.

2 years ago-

Friday- D and I went with your Daddy to work. While he worked, we walked around a park, by the river. Friday evening I received word from my friend Gunta that her baby was the way. Early Saturday morning their son Reinis was born and the midwife (our midwife) came to stay at our house for a few hours of sleep.

Saturday we went to a garden show/sale. On the way there while listening to the radio a song came on that I really like, "My Idea of Heaven". I just started crying when I heard it, it is so sweet and romantic. Could this have been a sign you were to be a girl? I very rarely cry when listening to music and this day I was a basket case. . . Perhaps a sign of your soon to be birth :) In the middle of the night I started having a few contractions.


Sunday- Your Daddy thought we should send D to his godparents since it appeared you were on your way. But I wasn't having regular contractions and didn't want D to be gone the whole day. Since after a while it appeared nothing much was happening we let him stay home for the day. I went on a walk by the river, hoping to get things moving along again. Towards evening my contractions started to be a bit more frequent and it was agreed that D would spend the night at his godparent's and that our midwife would come later.

When D was picked up and your Daddy and I were left alone, he decided to help me try and relax. He game me a back massage and turned on some relaxing music. He had chosen music ahead of time to help me relax. Rudite, our midwife arrived about 23:00. We had tea and chatted, she observed my response to the three contractions I had during our tea and informed me they were good contractions :) I was glad to know things were going somewhere, as I had doubted whether things were really happening for real.  You would have thought I would have known since you are the second baby :) Rudite went to bed and I decided to try to get some rest as well.

I was able to sleep for about an hour when I was awakened by a very strong contraction which brought me quickly out of bed. I find contractions unbearable when lying down. From this time on I was on the move.I sat on the birth ball. Daddy supported me and we swayed together for some contractions. Other times I just leaned against the wall, and so forth. Throughout the night things continued to progress. When I got hungry you Daddy made me my requested food, which was toast with butter :)

Towards morning I decided to try a bath for relaxing. But I had such a strong contraction in the bath that I became very discouraged and started crying. I asked Daddy to wake up the midwife and have her come give me some encouragement.

She came, and informed me that I was 7 cm dilated. Almost all the way open, but that you still needed to come down. She estimated you would be born by noon, in just a few hours. I continued my pacing. In between contractions I even played a song on the piano and sang. It seems I had more breaks when nothing was happening during this labor. I don't remember that happening with D.

The midwife suggested I lay down and rest. I didn't like lying down. But I gave in, and when I laid down and she had gone downstairs my water broke. It wasn't just a nice little break, but it seemed like an explosion and I screamed in shock and pain from the contraction. From this moment on things really started happening and within an hour of pushing you were out!

I ended up having you laying down on my left side. This wasn't how I had imagined things would be, I didn't like lying down. But this ended up being the pose that made things happen. I was just glad when everything was over and you were out.

There you were, my blueish little lady. Your Daddy quickly said, "It is Amelija. Your dream come true." How precious! You were laid on my tummy, crying in protest. Being born is hard work I know. I couldn't believe how big and chubby you were. You weighed over 9 pounds, 4350 grams!! Wow!! You seemed to me like a little cherub, so cute and chubby.

First Birth

As I prepare for the birth of our third child I want to take some time and reflect on the other two home births I have experienced. Here is the story of the birth of our firstborn son. (As written in my journal).

June 17, 2008

During the night I started having contractions or cramps. And have been having them ever since at irregular intervals. 

We were of course awake early, though I feel I barely slept. It is hard to sleep between 10 min. pains. J was very excited something has finally started happening. He has been very thoughtful, doing all he can to make me comfy and help around the house. He is cleaning a lot, he wants to get everything ready. 

It is so hard to understand if this is the real thing,  yet it seems I have been trickling water.

It is rainy. I had imagined it being sunny when our child was born. But I have come to understand that the sound of rain is very relaxing for me. 

18:57

Our midwife is coming. Thank God she is free. Contractions are more frequent and stronger. Let everything progress smoothly forward. I can't believe we are going to have a baby and be parents so soon. 

WRITTEN LATER: 

Our midwife arrived about 20:00 and listened to the baby's heart beat.  During the night my contractions continued and I endured them in various poses. Sometimes I leaned on J, other times I knelt. Our midwife worked on her computer, listened to the heartbeat now and then (it was strong), suggested poses etc. 

About 2 a.m the midwife went to sleep for a bit. J also fell asleep, only to awake with a start and announce he must drink some coffee (which he hardly ever does ) 

About 5 a.m. I wanted to go outside. Both J and Rudite our midwife were asleep. I pulled on rubber boots and went out, but everything was wet with dew and it was cold so I came in again. It was sunny, but wet. 

About 6 a.m. J and I ate a little. I ate toast. He held me on his lap during the contractions, I was kneeling. He read aloud to me from the Bible at some point. He kissed me and tried to help however he could. He even gave me a manicure. 

At some point I went in the bath to relax. 

(During the course of all this I vomited 3 times from pain). 

Somewhere during the late morning Rudite checked and said I was nearly fully dilated. They started making preparations for birth. They put pillows down on the floor so I could kneel more comfortably, etc. Rudite said she would come when I wanted her, she wasn't just going to watch. ( I liked that). 

At one point I had such a painful contraction that I wanted her back. She had me lay down to rest. A contraction started, I wanted to stand up- but felt I couldn't. When I did the baby started coming down so far that it was extremely painful. I guess this was the beginning of the pushing stage. I really started screaming.

During this stage I mostly sat on the toilet, which was covered. Each push or bearing down was so painful. I couldn't help screaming, "God, have mercy. God, help me. " Rudite came at one point and reminded me he was helping me- and to thank him. (I was very thankful for this later). She told me this was a transition to motherhood. To think of my baby. 

I felt I'd split in two. My body itself would push forward, but I would try stopping it so as to be stretched slowly. Rudite had said the baby would come down and then go up a bit. It felt like he just was coming down and then would stop. 

She came and wanted me to tell her how far the baby was. I could feel a bulge. She was pleased and wanted me to move to the bedroom. It was hard to walk at that point. I knelt by the bed and with a few more pushes he was out. Oh, the relief of feeling the pressure ease when he slithered out. 

He was placed in my arms, blue at first but quickly becoming pink. I looked and saw it was a boy. I then asked J if he knew it was a boy. He was surprised. 

When I needed to stand to push the placenta out I felt faint and as soon as it was out they helped me quickly into bed. 

Our son was born, very small, but healthy. 

He was born at 38 weeks. 

He weighed 2470 grams and was 49 cm. long.

June 18, 2008

14:04

Harmony

In my search of a perfect place to have my baby I have considered three options seriously. (These are in no particular order).  

A home birth: Like the first two times. In truth I cannot imagine any other way because this is the only way I have experienced birth. It is so soothing to be in the comfort of ones own home.

• BUT I don't want my children at home while I have my baby- because I scream during the pushing stage and  don't want to scare them. And I don't want them to have to spend the night elsewhere because that is hard on them and me since I worry about them. I found this true the first time around when I had to send D away for the first time in his life. 
• Price 500 lats or  $936.00 /This includes 1 home visit before birth and 3 home visits after birth.

Birthing Clinic: This is like a private, very small hospital. Where you are allowed to birth as you choose (not on the table).

• BUT the rooms seemed small to me and even though it was quiet since they only have like 4 rooms for women and it isn't too far away 30 minutes- it still feels like a a hospital. 
• Price: 450 lats for midwife, plus paying for each night in a room and food. In all it would cost more than a home birth.

Birthing House- "Harmony": I had heard this place was like a guest house and really wanted to see it- especially since my midwife recommended it over the Birthing Clinic. Over the weekend we went to see this house and I really, really liked it. The house was airy, bright and homey. They have two bedrooms for women and a very nice, big corner bath. I would like to try birthing in water this time. I like the idea of my husband and I getting away for 3 days with our new baby and having a mini-vacation. They also have "cocoons" knitted for each baby and they are so sweet. I loved that idea as well.

• BUT it is a 1 hour drive from our home- so a bit far. However, the situation is truly love.
• NO food provided because each person is so different in their desires. However, they have a furnished kitchen and you can get something at a local store or order at a cafe. 
• Price 500 lats or  $936.00 including the 3 nights. 

These are the options I am considering at present. I would love to go with the third option. But I wonder if I would make it in time and would know when to leave home. I am always so unsure if my labor has truly begun.

What would you do? 

Clay Pregnancy Art

In the book I am reading, "Birthing from Within" there are a lot of assignments on birth art and preparing for birth by exploring ones hidden feelings through art.
I have really enjoyed the assignments in both drawing and creating with clay.

The drawing ideas were those such as:
1. How I see myself as a pregnant woman.
2. How do I envison birth.
3. My fantasy for this birth.

When I got to the clay assignment I was a bit more skeptical because I had never worked with clay. I chose white clay and followed the directions of trying to see what my hands would create and not forcing something.

I like what I came up with and hope that these will remind me to be open during birth.

This woman is big- just like I feel and she is shaped like a bell. The bottom is empty and I would like very much if I could turn this into a bell. But am not experienced enough to know how. I like the idea of being open like a bell and giving off a beautiful sound to the world through my birth. A bell is something that is loud, strong and open. I need to be open and strong during birth so I can let this 3rd baby out without the pain I experience during my first two labors. 

Many women talking of opening like a flower to let their baby out. I like that analogy and wish I could see birth so peacefully and beautifully. I wanted something visual to help me with this and so created this baby being born of a flower.

Have you ever done any pregnancy art? What helped you during birth?

Quotes on Pregnancy

Altogether pregnancy and birth is a richly intuitive and instinctive process, a woman will prepare her "nest" and birth according to the style of her culture, in the same way that a particular species of bird will build its nest with whatever is available.

As I continue to read through "Birthing From Within" by Pam England many things jump out at me. I wanted to include some of my favorite quotes.

If you envision giving birth in only one way and one place, your chance of being thrown off balance by the unexpected increases dramatically. The more ways you envision yourself giving birth, the more power you bring to your own birth. 

When you think about it women give birth every day in unbelievable places and circumstances. Even as you read this, babies are being born . . . 

in hot tubs, and warm ocean pools. . . 

in rice paddies, mountain villages, and igloos. . . 

in beds, birth huts, and birthing chairs. 

Mothers the world over give birth 

counting stars and under bright lights. . . 

in fields, dugouts, and by fireplaces. . . 

in planes and trains. . . 

in one room shacks and operating rooms. 

Mothers and nature always find a way. 

Pg. 82 (Birthing From Within)

On Natural vs. C-Section Births

I am a woman with an opinion. I am influenced a lot of course by personal experience, by the advise of my midwives and by stories heard and books read.

I am always very saddened and heartbroken when I hear of yet another woman who has been made to have a c-section. I know there are times when a c-section IS necessary- when the life of the mother or child is at risk. But most of the time I would say that c-sections are made for the convenience of the doctor and to avoid any risk due to their incompetence. What doctor wants to risk trying something new or long when they can do it the easy way out? C-sections are also chosen by women as the easy way out or are necessary due to the interference of a doctors who having induced labor have to do deal with the stress of a rushed labor- which is not natural and therefore leads to problems and more intervention.

I read today of another woman desirous of a natural birth- but because her baby was in breech the doctors chose for her to have an emergency c-section. She was sad. I was sad for her. My heart screamed out wanting to help these sort of women.

I think I ought to go and study and start my path toward becoming a doctor who will correctly inform women of the risks, the possibilities and the options.

The stories I hear from midwives and even doctors and mothers in Latvia where I now reside convinces me that many doctors in the USA are far behind the times if they think that a woman who has had a c-section must have another. We are not cookie cutter people who must all be cut the same way. Each of us has a choice and if our doctor will not allow us to choose we ought to seek another.

A friend of mine here had her first two babies naturally, the third was an true emergency c-section and then when pregnant with the fourth she wanted a c-section. She was afraid. But her doctor told her, "No, you do not need a c-section.  You can do this." She went on to have an ideal natural birth.

Why don't doctors in other countries, states and facilities allow a mother to choose? Are mothers misinformed? Do they trust their doctors too much? Are mothers to fearful or doctors?

What are your experiences and opinions?

Birth is a process that is between mother and child. A woman knows how to have a baby. A healthy woman will give birth to a baby with no problems and in her way with the assistance of a good doctor or midwife. We do not need intervention when we are healthy and our baby is healthy and when nature is left to have her course both mother and child will come through healthy, whole and content.

Water Births

As I muddle through where I want to have this third baby I keep running into the idea of water birth. My midwife is for water births. She told me a neat story that babies born in water "swim" the length of the tub and their umbilical cord. She said while a baby's skin has not been reached by air it will not breath but will continue to use the oxygen from the cord.

Yesterday the leading midwife in Latvia with water birth experience was on the radio and I just finished listening to the program. It was fascinating and makes me want to try. She said it is easier on the baby to be born in water. My midwife says the same and especially for big babies- she is promising me a big baby this time.

I have been reading about the topic and found this site helpful, here is a section of benefits copied from their page.

What are the potential benefits of water birth?

Benefits for Mother:

• Water is soothing, comforting, relaxing.
• In the later stages of labor, the water seems to increase the woman’s energy.
• The buoyancy lessens her body weight, allows free movement and new positioning.
• Buoyancy promotes more efficient uterine contractions and better blood circulation, resulting in better oxygenation of the uterine muscles, less pain for the mother, and more oxygen for the baby.
• Immersion in water often helps lower high blood pressure caused by anxiety.
• Water seems to alleviate stress-related hormones, allowing the mother’s body to produce endorphins, which are pain-inhibitors.
• Water causes the perineum to become more elastic and relaxed, which reduces the incidence and severity of tearing and the need for an episiotomy and stitches.
• As the laboring women relaxes physically she is able to relax mentally, concentrating her efforts inward on the birth process.
• The water provides a sense of privacy, which releases inhibitions, anxiety, and fears.

Benefits for Baby:

• Provides a similar environment as the amniotic sac.
• Eases the stress of the birth, providing reassurance and security.

 
 
A couple of my friends have also had their babies in water and are all for it. I guess my biggest fears/concerns are:

• Privacy- I think I would feel too exposed in the water. 
• Comfort- With my births at home I have gone in the tub and didn't like it during my contractions. But the tub is small at home and I didn't have freedom of movement. I don't know if water is my friend enough for me to enjoy a water birth.

And yet I still feel tempted to try this. I want something easier this time. What are your personal experiences? Have you had a water birth after a normal birth?

Velcro and Elastic

I sometimes have the feeling I am held together with Velcro and compression stockings.

I hope I am not the only woman out there who as she bears more children and grows a few years older finds herself needing more shall we say, "support?"

I have a very minimal problem with veins and so am wearing a compression sock. I usually only wear it on one leg because it annoys me to have a thigh high sock to wear every day. To be honest I do not wear it everyday because I can't put it up with it. I have noticed though that my other ankle swells by the end of the day when I have been on my feet a lot. So I am wearing both compression socks now-no swelling. Yay!

I also find that when I am pregnant my back hurts a lot- from the very beginning. My midwife suggested I try a support belt. I got one the other day FINALLY. It is a dream, though a bit annoying to put on since I have to do so laying down so my tummy and baby will be in the right position. I really enjoy the extra support. But worry I might become too addicted to this. When I take it off my back hurts right away. . .  also when I eat I feel I have no room and have to loosen it if I hope to eat anything.

Oh the joys of pregnancy. This is the third time around for me and though I do have more complaints I must also say I have more joy too.

I want to get some professional photos down during this pregnancy- you never know if there is another baby in the future or not. I am also working on preparing for birth and the section of the book I am now on is art. My first assignment was to draw myself as I see myself pregnant. I had my husband do it as well- we had a good laugh. By the end of my drawing/ sketching assignments it will be interesting to look back and see how I saw myself in various ways: as a pregnant woman, mother, etc.

What did you do to prepare for birth?

Birthing From Within

"Mothers know something other people don't but sometimes they don't know it."

In the book I am reading, "Birthing From Within" by Pam England and Rob Horowitz-it suggests we listen to other birth stories which can help us learn, encourage us and empower us.

What are your birth stories?

• What helped you most when you gave birth?
• If you could do it over again what would you do the same? 
• Is there anything you would do differently? 
• What do you wish you had known beforehand? 

Send your birth stories to silkscarvesbyeli@gmail.com (if you don't want to write them  here)

Thanks!

Preparing for Birth

Here I am 14 weeks pregnant, yet unsure how and where I want to have my baby. I am not a first time Mom- rather I have already had two home births. These were births assisted by a wonderful midwife, births that took place in our own bedroom.

Never have I wanted the interference of medicine in my life and the more I prepared and read about birth the more sure I was that the best birth for a healthy Mom is one where there is no interference. This means no painkillers, no rushing to be induced. No hurrying of a process that God made me, a woman for. I have read countless books on birth, home birth and preparation for birth and am 100% sure that natural birth is the best option for baby and Mom when both are healthy.

So then, what keeps me from being sure I want to have my next baby at home? I am not exactly sure. But I think it has something to do with my "fear" of pain during labor, especially during the pushing stage. During my second labor I knew what to expect and could handle the contractions just fine by rocking, groaning, swaying, leaning on my husband or the sink, etc. There were even times I needed to move things along because I wanted more steady contractions and then I climbed the stairs. But when the time came to push and my baby was on her way out I felt like I was dying of pain. I screamed, I groaned, I cried "Lord, have mercy." And of course my baby entered this world and all was "forgotten" making it all worthwhile.

But that pain is not forgotten and because of my fear of pain I even asked God for twins so that I can have more children with less pain.

But there is another thing that rankles my spirit and makes me wonder. . . how is it that some women know virtually no pain when giving birth? A dear friend of mine just had her fourth baby at home and when we discuss birth and I ask her if it hurt she always says, "No." How can this be? Does she have a higher pain tolerance? Or has she learned to "let" her body give birth while I fight my body, trying to control even this uncontrollable event.

So as I prepare for birth in the next weeks and months and work through my feelings, experience and desires I will perhaps share a bit with you.